Family Time

Are families today spending enough time together?

Everyone has time, limited time. Since Noah’s flood the human lifespan is no more than 43,800 days, usually not much more than half that in modern society. The first 6,000 spent in childhood and the last 6,000 beyond retirement with the time in the middle left for time raising a family. One can increase this time by living longer or marrying younger but on average there’s 17,000 days to create, nourish and grow a family. 46 years sounds like plenty of time, however how much of that time do you actually spend with family?

Let’s say you have the usual 30-year mortgage, car payments, student loans and cost of living. Both you and your spouse work 9-5 jobs to afford it. Out of 24 hours you work 8, sleep 8, travel, cook, shop, clean, etc. 4-6 hours a day. This leaves you with just 2-4 hours for intimate family time and play. On the high end of that range 2,798 days to spend with family & friends. Just 16% of the average lifespan for developing relationships. Relationships being the only thing you can take with you after your time inevitably runs out. Just think, how many full days have you spent with a loved one? How much time do you need with someone to create a deep intimate relationship? Do you have enough time for all your family and friends?

To increase that time, could you sleep less? No. Most people try to automate cleaning and cooking, but that increases costs which makes it harder to reduce work hours. You could reduce time out of the house by shopping less in person thus shortening travel distance but that may only save you 2 hours. The only realistic option is to work less or involve family in the work and other activities. Now you can reduce work hours by being fabulously wealthy, which will either require a lot of luck or 12–16-hour workdays but usually both.

Now maybe only one spouse could do this but that breaks the partnership dynamic if only one parent is around for the kids! A vital role wouldn’t be met! Great wealth atrophies without maintenance if your expenses never shrink. The root of the problem is the expenses, not that you don’t earn enough for your time. Not unless you’re lucky enough to quit while you’re ahead. Humans are designed to be relational beings not wage slaves. If your cost of living requires you to work 8 hours, you are a slave at the expense of the relationships with your loved ones. You will have to compromise and have others with more time raise your kids. Your kids will adopt the philosophy and ethics of whom they spend the most time with during those 6,000 days of childhood, and you will pay for it. They will probably be told they need to get a 30-year mortgage, car payments, student loans and become someone’s slave, trading their time for money at the expense of their own family. The issue compounds, soon your grandchildren won't have time to see you or even care to, because they will hardly know you.

Now those who have already invested decades of their lives toward the mortgage and college payments will likely say “invest early to get a head start” because they are already so deep into the sunk cost fallacy and depend on others to join the grand Ponzi scheme that they will see alternatives as crazy. Some people will say “just set aside four percent each month and over time you may be lucky enough to have time later in life”. They're gambling that their efforts will earn them more family time down the road! “Spend 80% of your time now for 10% more family time” These are traps, they have some truth to them but do not address the root of the problem. You may be thinking that this all sounds like a poverty mindset, to be frugal or minimalist. No, not necessarily. The solution to time is as old as time itself. You will see this once you eliminate the need for money.

How do you eliminate the need for money? Let's take a look at the expenses of a wage slave: Housing, processed food, car payments, student loans, other debt. These are the usual suspects, either being recurring costs or large expenses. Covering these expenses should be turned into family time or eliminated as a requirement for living. Housing for example, you must ask the questions: “why must each generation purchase their own home? Why not multi-generational or multi-family housing or why purchase a home at all?” If you live on family land, where the mortgage has long since been paid, probably by family & friends sharing the burden, then future generations won’t need to work off their own reducing working hours by 1-2. After all it is faster to build and expand a simple home that meets your basic need than work your whole life for a big home just to become an empty nest.

The cost of buying (often processed) food from 3rd parties is a large, required expense, but by growing your own you eliminate the expense, can gain a surplus to sell, and live healthier increasing lifespan. Now you may think “but won't I have to work all day to create all the food for my family”? No, only if you’re using conventional agriculture to provide for thousands of people. Food can be grown in forest gardens, ecosystems designed & balanced with food bearing plants. These can be producing in 3 months and permanent in 7 years, even faster in a tropical climate! Passive food production methods exist, use them! Most of the work is easy enough for a child to do & if done on family land, only needs to be done once to supply future generations.

Once the family has land & food covered businesses can be created to provide a service to the surrounding community. Living where you work reduces the need for vehicles for commuting & lowers insurance for cars in use. This also increases family interaction on a daily basis. Family members can be taught trades & apprenticed rather than exported and charged exorbitant fees for philosophical indoctrination and skills beyond what is necessary to live. That is all optional for those who find fulfillment in work beyond basic needs.

78% of Americans live off debt, along the line they've missed a payment or leveraged credit poorly. Their family members are likely in the same situation and can’t lend meaningful aid. However, a family that eliminated the need for money, lives longer & works only to fill their needs will be free. Hours that would be spent away from family & friends, would be replaced with family time. Doing this will increase free time by 35-70% and the longevity of life for you and your children's children. Of course, at the start you will need to acquire land and invest your time & money in a different set of expenses. You may need to leverage debt, live frugally or create immense wealth to get the ball rolling. Find others that want more family time to share the burden and build life together. After all, there is only so much time. So, don't waste it.

-Tolin